CHAPTER 20 Sit, Stay, Sell—A Letter From Your Dog (and a Genius Marketing Plan) eting Plan) (This chapter is dedicated to all the good boys and girls out there doing hard time in crates during home showings.) A Letter From Your Dog: Dear Human, I still have nightmares about The Great Crate Incident of last Tuesday. You remember—the one where I got locked up for four hours while strangers sniffed around my house? I cried. I barked. I planned your emotional revenge. But then… I had an idea. (Yes, dogs can be strategic thinkers. Don’t underestimate me just because I chase my tail.) What if there were a way to only show our house to buyers who actually want to buy it? You wouldn’t have to scrub the baseboards 19 times a week. You wouldn’t have to yell, “THEY’RE HERE! HIDE THE TOOTHPASTE!” every time a showing gets booked. And I… I wouldn’t have to be imprisoned in the crate of sadness. So here’s my plan, and I think you’ll like it: Let’s sell it before we show it. Tell potential buyers everything about the house before they ever step paw—uh, foot—inside. That way, the only people touring our home are pre-sold. They already love it. They’re ready to make an offer. You might even get more money this way. And I might actually survive this
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